Brotherhood and Legitimate Needs

I heard this song by Josh Groban on the radio earlier this week, and although I had heard it before, I was really touched by it’s message. I took it as the Savior speaking directly to me.

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

It resonated with something I had read. My counselor recommended I read the book Homosexuality: Symptoms and Free Agency by Scott Anderson. In it Scott quotes Elizabeth Moberly: “Healing must imply the fulfillment of unmet needs. God does not cure people of legitimate needs.” (from her book Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic)

That really hit me in a powerful way. For so long I have prayed to Heavenly Father to remove my desires. The truth is that those desires are not based on anything evil. My homosexual desires are simply an offshoot of the need to feel acceptance and emotional connection with my brothers. That is not a bad desire. In fact, it is a very natural and divine desire.

I was moved as I noticed the way the General Authorities expressed their love for each other in General Conference. That brotherhood is a very real part of God’s eternal plan for us. For the first time, I began to see that an “Eternal Family” was not limited to the mortal definition of family. Those who reach the Celestial Kingdom are going to spend eternity with their brothers and sisters. Sure I will have the opportunity to spend the rest of eternity with my best friend—my wife. But just as real will be the relationships that I form with my spiritual brothers. That makes me excited. I can imagine being happy in a heaven where I will interact with other males in an intimate, yet appropriate way. The idea of being happy in a heaven with only my wife and kids seemed incomprehensible to me.

Anyway those are just a few of my thoughts on brotherhood and the very real and legitimate need to experience that love. I know that as I have experienced that connection, my feelings of SSA have diminished and I have experienced true happiness.